A response from a Wimp a.k.a. Why I think Fight Club is a great movie.

This article about barbarians and wimps raises many interesting points. The severely summed up version of the article is that most men fall into two categories; Barbarians "who treat women roughly and are unreliable, unmannerly, and usually stupid" and wimps "who are whiny, incapable of making decisions, and in general of 'acting like men'." The authors basic point is that something has gone wrong with society because it is not producing "real men" who would be some kind of happy medium between the too. A man who can treat women with respect, can make decisions without being overbearing, and are tough enough to stand up for what they believe in. Now, I disagree with some of the author's conclusions for what caused this (including the obligatory conservative of heavy metal being the root cause of all that is evil in this world) and how we should get back to the "traditional family model", but it did make me think of what could have caused this and what is the best way to go about changing it.

Now I think we can agree that most of the barbarian model can be rejected as having any standards that people would find attractive or appealing in a man. Thus, we are left with trying to save/mold the wimp into something worthwhile, and I think there are things to work with (yeah, I'm biased since I fall into the wimp category, but anyway). A particularly interesting passage is this one:

"The wimp, on the other hand, has more complex reasons for wanting women. Although sex is certainly one of his desires, more than sex he needs affirmation. He desperately needs a girlfriend to boost his self-confidence. Having someone else notice him will somehow show the world that he is not a total loser. The wimp also needs someone to hear his laments, to commiserate with him when he is feeling down, to discover his secret self. Since he has few qualities or achievements to recommend him, he seeks to appear "interesting" or mysterious. Initially, the wimp might seem amusing to an unsuspecting young lady and very different from the insensitive jocks and rowdies she has known. Ultimately, however, the wimp seeks to draw her into his web of melancholy and self-pity. The story always ends unhappily since romance cannot be based upon pity or the thin facade of personality. He might mope and whine his way into a woman's bed but will find excuses to avoid "commitment." The wimp will begin the relationship by saying, "You're the only one who understands me" and end it by saying, "You don't understand me at all." The truth is that there is not much to understand."

I think that is a very accurate description of this type of man's want and needs. Query what the barbarian needs from a relationship with women? In my own "lamentations" about this with my woman, she thought that barbarians would have the same need of affirmation from women. I'm not so sure that if this is true. I think that the affirmation that the barbarian (jock) needs is from other men just like him. If he is pleased that a woman has voiced approval of him it is only so that he can later brag about it to his friends. But I digress...

By this point your probably wondering why the hell Fight Club was in the title of this post. Well, I believe one of the main themes of Fight Club (and one of the reasons it is a great movie) is the transformation of a "wimp" to a "barbarian" and ultimately finding a happy medium between the two. Exhibit A: a conversation between the Narrator and Tyler:

"I can't get married, I'm a 30 year-old boy."
"We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need..."

The first part of the movie deals with the Narrator's dissatisfaction with life. He doesn't feel comfortable with himself and is eternally unsatisfied. He is a product of the society that he was brought up in.

"I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

The Narrator begins to alter his lifestyle at first by becoming a barbarian. This is when the character begins the fight club. Now just a quick interlude...many people said they did not like or would not see this movie because of the violence. But I think that it is necessary to understand the violence in the context of the story. These people are not beating the shit out of each other for no reason whatsoever. They have been so desensitizing in society that they are unable to feel anything unless it is taken to the extreme. If you don't believe me, how else is the conversation after the Narrator and Tyler first hit each other?

(Narrator punches Tyler in the ear and Tyler hits Narrator in the gut)
"That really hurts...hit me again."
"No, you hit me."

They don't fight to beat the crap out of someone else, they fight each other in order to feel something themselves, to feel alive. Eventually the Narrator realizes that all the things that he is doing to change his life are being taken to the extreme and go too far. What he learns in the end is that one must find a mid point in order to live a "normal" life and can then make himself available to find a companion in a woman.

Anyway, I'm starting to realize this post is getting about as long as the article. So if you are still with me I thank you. The author goes on to give his theory on how to instill these morals in young people in order to turn them into viable members of society. Most of these ways have to do with returning to the traditional family and corporal punishment at a young age. I'm just not convinced that we need to do away with what I'd like to think of as progress of the sexual revolution and the women's rights movement (not to mention not having to beat your children with a belt). I think the best way of doing this is for children to respect their parents so that if they act up as a child the punishment is for the parents to be disappointed in them. The trick is that in order for that to work the children must respect the parent. Not sure how exactly to do this (I never claimed to have all the answers only most of them) but I expect it would come from the parent raising the child and being active in their lives.

Just something to think about.